i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
