Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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