So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
