how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
