oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
