would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
