i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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