if only i could text you this smell
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
