Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
