Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
