I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
