The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
