trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
