i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
