I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
