"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
