I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
