That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
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