And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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