Bisexual people are plain selfish.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
