Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
