I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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