Are we in a gay sports bar?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
