He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
