Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
