I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
