i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize