So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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