She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
