It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
