After last night, I could never be a politician.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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