Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
