Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize