Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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