so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
