well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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