the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
