If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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