Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
