Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
