I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I stole a fireplace last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
