I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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