He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize