dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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