If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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