This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
