trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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