Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
