You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
