Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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