where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
