when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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