were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
