Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
