Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
