please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
