Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
