What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
