I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize