I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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